Avast! Today it be International Talk Like A Pirate Day! Arrrr!

This might have ye thinkin' that today of all days we should accept the superiority of pirates.

But before ye go givin' the robots the black spot, ask yerselves one question: which is cooler, a pirate talkin' like a pirate, or a robot talkin' like a pirate?

1010001011110, Mateys!

Compare and contrast:

Sir Henry Morgan defeats Don Alonso and captures Maracaibo


SkyNet defeats humanity and captures Earth


Actually, in this case, I have to admit that the pirates are cooler. This may just be because SkyNet has limited appeal and Henry Morgan is one of the cooler pirates. But certainly, if you want to conquer something, booty is a much higher motive than some poorly-articulated sense of self-preservation. Part of the problem here is that SkyNet is given intelligence without being given emotions. And, as current AI research suggests, artificial intelligence without emotional intelligence isn't really intelligence at all.

Which returns us to Ian's knock-out blow: which is more touching, a pirate crying or a robot crying?

It's all about the Czechs, really. Not only did they invent the word "robot," but the word for hello in Czech is "Ahoj" (pronounced "Ahoy"). Czechs are also exceptionally good-looking. So I asked two of my Czech mateys their opinion and it comes out an even tie at one in favour of pirates (Gabriela Jiraskova) and one in favour of robots (Andrea Volfova). I'm afraid I'm no longer enough in touch with the lovely Irena Pochop to ask her to break the tie. Are you, admiralfrogpants? Anyone else know any Czechs?

Oh wait, apparently there will be another Czech girl at this party at Cece's place on Saturday. Maybe someone should ask her...

Robots or pirates--which are cooler? I'll submit my brief in a short while, but will begin with a few facts to get the discussion rolling.

From The Barnhart Concise Dictionary of Etymology

Robot n. 1923, formed in Czech as the name for the mechanical men of the paly R. U. R. (Rossum's Universal Robots, the firm manufacturing the robots). Czech robot from robota work or labor, related to Old Slavic rabu slave.

Pirate n. Probably befeore 1300; earlier as a surname Pyrot (1254); borrowed from Old French pirate, and directly from Latin pirata sailor, sea robber, from Greek peirates brigand or pirate; literraly, one who attacks, from peiran to attack, make a hostile attempt on, try, from peira trail, an attempt, attack.

Top-Grossing Films Related to Robots

1. Star Wars IV: A New Hope ($460,998,000): 2nd all time
2. Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace ($431,088,000): 5th all time
3. Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith ($380,262,000): 8th all time
4. Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones ($310,675,000): 19th all time
5. Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi ($309,206,000): 20th all time
6. Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back ($290,272,000): 25th all time
7. The Matrix: Reloaded ($281,519,000): 28th all time
8. Terminator 2: Judgment Day ($204,843,000): 68th all time
9. The Matrix ($171,479,000): 110th all time
10. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines ($150,350): 143rd all time

Best Robot Movie Ever? My vote's on Blade Runner

Top-Grossing Films Related to Pirates
1. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest ($416,591,000): 6th all time
2. Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl ($305,413,000): 22nd all time

Best Pirate Movie Ever? My vote's on Treasure Island

Most Distant Lands Visited by Pirates: South Pacific Islands
Most Distant Lands Visited by Robots: Mars

Five Classics of Robot Fiction
Karel Capek, R.U.R. (Rossum's Universal Robots)
Isaac Asimov, I, Robot
Stanislaw Lem, The Cyberiad
Philip K. Dick, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
Ray Bradbury, I Sing The Body Electric, And Other Stories

Five Classics of Pirate Fiction
James Fennimore Cooper, The Red Rover
Robert Louis Stevenson, Treasure Island
Daniel Defoe, Captain Singleton
Rafael Sabatini, Captain Blood
Sir Walter Scott, The Pirate